Category Archives: Politics

Words With Friends

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words with friends

Warning:  This post is contains words I find annoying, disturbing and/or disgusting.  If you are offended by language, this post is not for you!

 

 

 

 

It began with the constant use of the F word during the 2016 Presidential Campaign. Once I tuned into it, I heard it everywhere and bristled each time.

Female.”

Hearing “female candidate” I envisioned a cartoon uterus in a pantsuit and sensible heels, a stylish scarf fashioned out of her fallopian tubes, and her ovaries tucked safely in her pockets.

Ridiculous, I know. But,  “male candidate” wasn’t used with the same frequency, if at all.

“Female” is clinical.

Unless you’re employed in the field of animal husbandry, issuing an A.P.B. for an alleged perpetrator, transporting a patient, or working in the coroner’s office – skip the word female. It refers to genitalia.

I prefer “woman” as it encompasses the entirety of a human being.

While I was busy cringing at the F word, the tape of Trump using the P word surfaced.

Ick. Ick. Ick.

For the love of hoo-hoo’s, vajayjays and vajeens everywhere, wasn’t that word left back in the junior high boys’ locker room?

Guess not.

The misogynistic and absurd bragging (among other things) spurred a protest of the new U.S. President. On January 21, 2017,  200,000 women gathered in D.C.  sporting their functional, yet cleverly named pink Pussy hats.

Meow. I get it –  giving the word a different kind of power. Even with those darling little ears on top – I preferred kitty cat hats.

The cringe factor of these words brought to mind a recent girls’ trip where our mutual dislike of “moist” resulted in a conversation about all sorts of awful words.

Just the mere reference to something unappealing like “pustule,” “seeping,” “oozing,” and “ointment” causes cringey feelings. No visual aid necessary.

One friend hates the word “pimple,” and her husband hates the word, “fester.” It’s no wonder these perfectly suited soul mates have enjoyed nearly 30 years of wedded bliss!

Another friend confessed that any labia reference, either major or minor – made her uncomfortable.

We all agreed “scrotum” hits the ears wrong every time.

Coincidentally, one friend was on a run of making her own almond milk and almond hummus. She shared how her teenagers groaned in protest every time she referenced the necessary tool which is key to the process: a “nut bag.”

35 years ago, this same friend was a horrified teenager when her mother signaled the end of a day of shopping by announcing in a department store, “Well, it’s time to go, I’ve shot my wad!” 

Another friend mentioned the word “grundle.” I admit, I had to Google it. It sounded like something out of a Harry Potter novel. Nope. Lemme just say….T’aint what it is.

Of course “smegma” (just for you Madge), “girth” and “lube” are all included on the the repeat offender list. I apologize for typing those.

Some words sound worse than their actual definition, like “chickpea,” “uranus” and “penal” for instance. “Clematis” clearly sounds like a lady part and not a lovely flowering vine.

Personally, I hate the terrible imagery that comes to mind when I hear “blow-out,” and “brain-fart.

While we’re on the subject – I propose we nix the crass “anal-retentive” or “anal” in favor of the more genteel “particular.

It isn’t only anatomical terms and descriptors of unpleasant things that are bothersome.

Mothers can all agree on a mutual disdain for “not me” and “sucks.”

Men are bugged by a words of a different sort.

They seem to have a strong dislike for the apathetic “whatever” and the snippish “fine.” They also lose patience with the incorrect use of “literally,” the often used, but nonexistent “irregardless,” and the redundant “very unique.”

Just mention corporate conference call speak and watch the eyes roll:

We don’t need to think outside the boxregroup, or tag up later. Please, just table it ALL. At the end of the day, we’ve had enough of moving forward. We have fully penetrated and are saturated with equitable outcomessolutions-based everything, and win-win situations.

Yep, there definitely seems to be a “disconnect” here

Words can be so terribly overused that they lose their meaning. Have you noticed practically everything is described as “amazing” on a daily basis. Hey, I realize my generation did the same thing to “awesome,” but we used it more comically, and less earnestly.

The moment I heard a lovely wedding gown described as “badass,” I knew the word had lost its impact. Remember when that only applied to bikers, rockers, and the military?

I realize decorum and manners have waned in favor of an air of familiarity in our increasingly casual society.

This is never more evident than when a server or clerk addresses a group of women as “you guys” or even in Southern California as “dudes.”

Look, I’m not expecting to hear “Madames.”

“Ladies” or at the very least, “folks” would be a refreshing return to the service standards I was taught.

Do you think I’m too easily offended, or being a ball buster?

OUCH!

I don’t even have a pair, and that really makes me wince!

 

 

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A Bad Act

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As a resident of California, all the talk this past week about my home state of Indiana has left me puzzled.

In case you haven’t heard, Governor Mike Pence signed the Religious Freedom Restoration Act into law.

I finally pulled myself away from the enjoyment of reading countless Pro-RFRA and Anti-RFRA Facebook comments, tweets and editorials, and decided to read the actual bill. You can do the same here. Good luck. I don’t speak legalese, so I found it not difficult, but painful to read.

What’s it all about Alfie? Can anyone spot a loophole?

I don’t understand the need for this legislation.

Is it really to protect Christian Business owners from potential lawsuits as a result of refusing to serve “the Gays?”

I know the politically correct term is LGBT, I’m just mimicking my favorite Pro-RFRA commenter – a seriously pissed off old lady who referenced “the Gays” and “the Gays shoving it in my face” and “the Gay Agenda.”  She really got it all off her chest in one concise comment.

I kept reading the Pro-RFRA comments – many from folks who aren’t even residents of Indiana:

“I just don’t agree with their lifestyle.”

Really? I respect their lifestyle. Especially when it involves getting an education, working for a living, being in a committed relationship, creating a loving home and family, adopting and raising children, caring for animals, acting neighborly, being civic-minded, and generally making their little corner of the world a better place.

“Should a Muslim Caterer be expected to serve pork?”

Clearly, this clever Pro-RFRA commenter thought he had produced the ultimate “Gotcha!” argument. Except, in reference to this imagined scenario, I actually know Muslim chefs who cook and serve pork, and Jewish chefs who cook and serve bacon and shellfish. It is quite common.

“The bible says….”

OK, I have no response here because I am not a biblical scholar. At best, I am a Cafeteria Catholic.  I’m comfortable with my faith and spirituality. My belief is that everyone has their own personal relationship with God. That relationship like any other relationship – is simply none of my business – no matter what the bible says – or doesn’t say.

I honestly don’t understand what all the fuss is about. It is 2015. Doesn’t everyone have at least one good friend, neighbor, co-worker, client, service provider or gasp!…..relative who just happens to be LGBT?

I asked a friend how she explained gay couples to her young daughter. She explained that her daughter’s only exposure to gay couples thus far is Cam and Mitchell on Modern Family. That’s close enough to real life for me. I mean really….has there been a more lovable couple since since Lucy & Ricky?

What is the big deal? In the words of the great Depeche Mode, “People are people.”

Amid the nationwide uproar and outrage over the RFRA, I am saddened by the perception of my Indiana PEOPLE.

If you have been disgusted by the “knuckle-dragger” (my favorite and most succinct, Anti-RFRA comment) lawmakers in Indiana, please don’t think this is an accurate representation of my fellow Hoosiers.

In our often uncivil society, being nice is under-rated. But, believe me – being nice, friendly and welcoming is a way of life in Indiana.

Hoosier Hospitality is a real thing. I think a handful of lobbyists, lawmakers and the Governor momentarily forgot this. Indianapolis Mayor Greg Ballard hasn’t.

ballard

IF, in fact, the intention is to protect private parties from government action as expressed in this statement, and has nothing to do with transactions between two private parties, and does NOT allow for discrimination; they certainly did a terrible job presenting it accurately, and an excellent job allowing it to be misrepresented.

They continue to fail miserably at explaining what it is, and what it isn’t.

They better get Olivia Pope on damage control. Pronto. Our Hoosier reputation is at stake.

While It is plausible that Frank Underwood had a hand in this debacle, I don’t have time to address all the conspiracy theories I read about, because I have real world concerns on the West Coast:

The Drought, the California Sea Lion crisis, and Bruce Jenner’s wardrobe choices as he transitions.